


It's safe to say some don't change

by FancifulRivers



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Defective Gems, Gen, Hope Steven notices that at some point, Post-Episode: s05e18 A Single Pale Rose, Probably not this tbh, Spoilers for Now It's Only Falling Apart, What happens when a Pearl spills her secrets, it's complicated - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 03:46:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15161873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FancifulRivers/pseuds/FancifulRivers
Summary: Pearl knows what she has to do.But oh, how she doesn't want to.





	It's safe to say some don't change

 

"Now that Steven knows, I can tell you," Pearl says. Her voice is too bright, too artificial, but she is powerless to change it. The other Crystal Gems just stare at her. Amethyst looks like she's in a state of shock. Garnet- Pearl doesn't know how Garnet feels. But she knows it's not good. The other original member of Rose's army- and Rose never told her-

No, it wouldn't be good.

It's not a shock when Garnet splits apart. What is a shock is when  _Sapphire_ is the one who goes hurtling off, who spills hurtful words on the floor like her ice, who leaves Ruby standing there, dumbstruck and tearful. Pearl doesn't expect that. Could never expect that. She doesn't know what to do.

She follows. Not because she knows what to do, but because  _Steven_ does. She follows because it is engrained in her gem, bones deep, and sometimes she can't help but follow. 

Sapphire is trapped by her own ice, spiky protrusions exploding everywhere, and Pearl frets for Steven's safety. He is still half human. But he charges ahead anyway, and Pearl picks her way delicately to the side of her friend. She wonders when the blame will come, when the recriminations will heap upon her narrow shoulders. It is what she deserves. She should have found a way to tell them sooner. She should have convinced Rose to spill her secret. Perhaps not during the war, but after? There was nothing stopping her but fear.

But Pearl understands fear in a way that she does not think many other gems do, so she does not push. Cannot push.

Instead, she tells Sapphire about what it was like to be commissioned for a Diamond. Her throat aches like it is slowly being filled with glass, but she doesn't care. Her friend is in pain and it is her fault. She knows that, deep in her core. She tells her about Pink Diamond's boredom with running a colony, how desperately she wanted to be  _on_ the planet Earth, meeting the gems newly fallen free from their holes. How Pearl is the one who came up with the idea of a Quartz disguise (she does not speak of how much she regretted that decision in years to come). Her hands itch with the urge to slam over her mouth, criss-cross, the more she speaks.

She tells Sapphire about the Earth and how her Diamond tried, over and over, to fix things as herself, to remove the gem influence from the planet. How she was ignored at every turn. 

She tells Sapphire about meeting Garnet.

It was a shock to Pearl and Pink, to see two different gems fuse together, but she doesn't tell Sapphire the guilty flush that spread across her cheeks as soon as they left, how she longed to melt together with her Diamond, to see what would happen if a Diamond and her Pearl became one. She doesn't tell Sapphire how she wondered if Blue and Yellow ever fused with their Pearls. Blue's Pearl is so quiet and reserved, it is impossible to think about. Yellow's Pearl is too abrasive. But it could happen, couldn't it? Pink has always been so kind to her-

But a Diamond is a Diamond and she is nothing but a lowly Pearl and she buries that desire as far down as she can, ignoring its traitorous flutter when Pink wonders similarly, when Pink cannot stop gushing about the strange fusion they saw. They manage fusion for one glorious second before spilling apart again and all Pearl can think is how much she wants to do it again.

This is not about her fusion attempts with her own Diamond, with Rose, though. This is about comforting Sapphire. This is about helping her friend and her team member. It is not about her. (It is never about her. It never should be.)

Her throat hurts so much when she is done and it feels like her wrists might snap. She accepts this calmly, as her due. It is what happens when you spill your Diamond's secrets. She knows better. She  _does_ , but it is more important that the rest of the Crystal Gems  _know_.

When they step on the warp pad to return home, Pearl feels a single, minuscule splinter of her gem drop into her open palm.


End file.
